Here's a recap of what's going on:
1. Guillermo and me fell back into our old thing.
2. Guilllermo goes and makes things weird between us by forcing me to be around his friends (who clearly don't like me)
3. The friends I met were girls he works with and clearly were flirting with him (both pre-drinking, buzzed, and wasted)
4. Guillermo and me haven't talked since the drinking party, but just quick little FB posts
5. It's not the same anymore between us after our one night stand (if that's what you would call it)
6. I'm not missing Guillermo like I used to before..I'm actually enjoying not having to worry about what to wear to go out
7. Am I NOT in love with Guillermo anymore?
and #8: I am still in love with him.
Why am I still in love with him, though he made our relationship weird and doesn't want to do anything with me anymore? Same reason why I couldn't break up with him last year and why I couldn't leave him 2 years ago.
I want to say I am over him, but he does things that surprises me. Like this weekend when I threw my mom her surprise 50th birthday party, Guillermo left me a FB message wishing my mom a happy birthday. He NEVER did that before. Of course there's the causal FB comments but that's the extent of our conversations. Even the comments are kinda weird because Guillermo's not teasing me. I don't know with this guy: should I give up or keep holding on?
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
My crazy dream (non Twilight so don't worry hehehe)
So there are 3 guys that were the main focus of the party, but sadly I can only remember one and his name's Walter. Apparently this Walter guy is a major player that pretends he's Mr Perfect but is really a jerk (according to Guillermo and the other girls that were there). So Guillermo leaves me to go referee the 2 guys that went outside and I was left with the rest of the group, Walter included. He (Walter) starts flirting with me but of course I turn him down. This guy, in my dream and hopefully he's not like this in real life, becomes this major stalker and follows me around the ESPN Zone, including THE BATHROOM!! Yes this guy's hella strange!
After the bathroom incident, I go back to the table and ask Diana (nice dressed Diana, but I don't think she went to the party in RL) where G was. MAJOR ATTITUDE she gave me so I grabbed my purse and went to look for G. At that moment, I saw Walter (crazy, stalker freak) walking by with SECURITY towards the door. I decided to follow them and see if G was outside. Sure enough, there was G with the 2 guys that were fighting and he was just standing there. Freaky, stalker guy Walter brought out security to arrest the 2 guys but not G, so I grabbed him and told him I wanted to leave already. G agreed and we were about to turn around when crazy, stalker Walter came back and grabbed my arm, saying we couldn't leave yet.G pushed him back, saying not to grab his girlfriend (aww..) like that.
We turned around and was about to walk away when crazy, stalker Walter started laughing at G and said something that I don't remember. I turned around and looked at crazy, stalker Walter and said, "What?" Crazy, stalker Walter said, "You're his girlfriend? That's not what he told me." I turned around and reply "WHAT?" Walter, still laughing, continues against Guillermo's constant "shut the hell up Walter".
"Yeah Jess you should hear all the stuff Mo says about you. 'Oh I have this girl that's so easy I love it.' 'Oh this girl's so stupid and pathetic that I can toss her a stupid complement and she's down on me in seconds' and..oh Jess this is my favorite part...'Dude, once I screw her, I'm dumping her easy ass!"
I was so hella pissed at Guillermo during Walter's drunk confession that I didn't know what to do. I didn't seem like I was going to cry but when G was trying to calm me down and I just looked at him and punched him hard! Yes yours truly punched a guy and broke his nose and gave him a black eye. I'm so proud of myself.
So how did I get home? 2 versions (why 2 I don't know LOL).
1. I called Robert and he picked me up and made up.
2. I actually drove over to LA Live and met G there. After the fight I went back to my car and drove home.
But in both versions, I had to put ice on my hand because I hit him so hard, it buised my hand. After the fact, I was in hella a lot of pain too. LOL.
Wouldn't that be crazy that G pisses or hurts me so badly I would literally punch him? As if cute and adorable me would do that! hehehhe...
After the bathroom incident, I go back to the table and ask Diana (nice dressed Diana, but I don't think she went to the party in RL) where G was. MAJOR ATTITUDE she gave me so I grabbed my purse and went to look for G. At that moment, I saw Walter (crazy, stalker freak) walking by with SECURITY towards the door. I decided to follow them and see if G was outside. Sure enough, there was G with the 2 guys that were fighting and he was just standing there. Freaky, stalker guy Walter brought out security to arrest the 2 guys but not G, so I grabbed him and told him I wanted to leave already. G agreed and we were about to turn around when crazy, stalker Walter came back and grabbed my arm, saying we couldn't leave yet.G pushed him back, saying not to grab his girlfriend (aww..) like that.
We turned around and was about to walk away when crazy, stalker Walter started laughing at G and said something that I don't remember. I turned around and looked at crazy, stalker Walter and said, "What?" Crazy, stalker Walter said, "You're his girlfriend? That's not what he told me." I turned around and reply "WHAT?" Walter, still laughing, continues against Guillermo's constant "shut the hell up Walter".
"Yeah Jess you should hear all the stuff Mo says about you. 'Oh I have this girl that's so easy I love it.' 'Oh this girl's so stupid and pathetic that I can toss her a stupid complement and she's down on me in seconds' and..oh Jess this is my favorite part...'Dude, once I screw her, I'm dumping her easy ass!"
I was so hella pissed at Guillermo during Walter's drunk confession that I didn't know what to do. I didn't seem like I was going to cry but when G was trying to calm me down and I just looked at him and punched him hard! Yes yours truly punched a guy and broke his nose and gave him a black eye. I'm so proud of myself.
So how did I get home? 2 versions (why 2 I don't know LOL).
1. I called Robert and he picked me up and made up.
2. I actually drove over to LA Live and met G there. After the fight I went back to my car and drove home.
But in both versions, I had to put ice on my hand because I hit him so hard, it buised my hand. After the fact, I was in hella a lot of pain too. LOL.
Wouldn't that be crazy that G pisses or hurts me so badly I would literally punch him? As if cute and adorable me would do that! hehehhe...
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
New Jess is finally taking over (for now at least!)
Another weekend went by and still no word from Guillermo about going out. Assuming the only way to get his attention is by waving McDonald Happy Meals in front of him, I pretty much gave up on the whole reconciliation idea. It was good while it lasted (only 1 outing and then the almost sleep over at his house), but I guess our 7 month break up changed everything.
Instead of me texting him and officially breaking up, I decided (and with my Bestie's consistent approval of anything Guillermo related LOL) to play it HIS way. My plan: break up with Guillermo but not tell him. Then when he finally decides to go out with me, I'll go but then confront him with the million dollar question: "what the hell do you want to do? make it official or not?"
I mean, if Guillermo treated me like a girlfriend, I would not be having these issues, but he never treated me like one. Except when we went to Pershing Square last summer and then to the beach, but of course it was because he was leaving to Denver that week. He treats me like his best friend in public, but when we go back to his house and especially around his parents, he treats me like his girlfriend.
Of course my "sorority sisters" who are supposed to stand by me and support me thinks I'm crazy. They have even resorted to talking about me on Facebook, saying how "ignorant" I am with this whole thing. Yes I should have just moved on, but how could I when he's been such a part of my life for 2 years? Plus the fact I still love him.
Last night my bestie and me went to a book signing and I fell in love with it. It made me realize I didn't need Guillermo to have fun, though there are some things that I would like to do with him. I think my crazy plan might just work and hopefully when I do see Guillermo again, it won't be the last time.
Instead of me texting him and officially breaking up, I decided (and with my Bestie's consistent approval of anything Guillermo related LOL) to play it HIS way. My plan: break up with Guillermo but not tell him. Then when he finally decides to go out with me, I'll go but then confront him with the million dollar question: "what the hell do you want to do? make it official or not?"
I mean, if Guillermo treated me like a girlfriend, I would not be having these issues, but he never treated me like one. Except when we went to Pershing Square last summer and then to the beach, but of course it was because he was leaving to Denver that week. He treats me like his best friend in public, but when we go back to his house and especially around his parents, he treats me like his girlfriend.
Of course my "sorority sisters" who are supposed to stand by me and support me thinks I'm crazy. They have even resorted to talking about me on Facebook, saying how "ignorant" I am with this whole thing. Yes I should have just moved on, but how could I when he's been such a part of my life for 2 years? Plus the fact I still love him.
Last night my bestie and me went to a book signing and I fell in love with it. It made me realize I didn't need Guillermo to have fun, though there are some things that I would like to do with him. I think my crazy plan might just work and hopefully when I do see Guillermo again, it won't be the last time.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
"Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart"
It wasn't bad enough I crossed the line and took Guillermo back, but now I'm so over the line I can't see the side of reasoning. LOL. (Ok no more Emily Griffin/Wickman novels LOL). I realized this weekend it's tough being a girlfriend, especially an unofficial one. I made a promise that I would not make the same mistakes I made the first time around with him, but damn Guillermo! He must've known about my promise because he's pulling every trick in the book to piss me off.
Saturday he goes out to a baseball game and doesn't invite me. Granted, I had plans with the family (we drove to Simi Valley to the Reagan Museum. I LOVED it!) but a "hey, I'm going to the game at 5pm you wanna come?" or something like that. If he would have texted me, I would have no reason to be upset. BUT HE DIDN'T! I was so upset but instead of arguing with him (which the old Jess would have definitely done!), I quietly put my phone down and started reading my book, thinking of ways to get back at Guillermo. I even thought of ways to find a Voturi family that could take him down too (YES I was pissed!).
Sunday was worst because all day, I did not hear from him. I made it a point (since apparently the only reason Guillermo complained about me deleting him from my Facebook was to check up on me) to mention on my statuses "I'M BORED SO I'M READING" . Did he call or text me to see if I wanted to go and do something? NO!! Oh, but the only, ONLY FREAKING text from him was a reply to my last status of the day.
Status: "NEIGHBORS ARE KILLING ME WITH GARLIC" or something like that but it was with garlic.
HIM: "REMIND ME TO GET YOU GARLIC FRIES!"
OMFG!! I wanted to call Guillermo up and let him have it! He could open up his laptop and reply back to a status but he can't freakin' pick up his phone and text me a message or (dare I say it!) call me! I don't know if this is a constant problem for girlfriends, I could be nitpicking, or both but this really bothered me. I know things changed between Guillermo and me, but I guess I was hoping for us to be closer after getting back together.
Bestie and me referred to Guillermo as "My Baby #3" but now he's been downgraded to "Marcus", the insensitive, uncaring guy from "Something Borrowed".
Saturday he goes out to a baseball game and doesn't invite me. Granted, I had plans with the family (we drove to Simi Valley to the Reagan Museum. I LOVED it!) but a "hey, I'm going to the game at 5pm you wanna come?" or something like that. If he would have texted me, I would have no reason to be upset. BUT HE DIDN'T! I was so upset but instead of arguing with him (which the old Jess would have definitely done!), I quietly put my phone down and started reading my book, thinking of ways to get back at Guillermo. I even thought of ways to find a Voturi family that could take him down too (YES I was pissed!).
Sunday was worst because all day, I did not hear from him. I made it a point (since apparently the only reason Guillermo complained about me deleting him from my Facebook was to check up on me) to mention on my statuses "I'M BORED SO I'M READING" . Did he call or text me to see if I wanted to go and do something? NO!! Oh, but the only, ONLY FREAKING text from him was a reply to my last status of the day.
Status: "NEIGHBORS ARE KILLING ME WITH GARLIC" or something like that but it was with garlic.
HIM: "REMIND ME TO GET YOU GARLIC FRIES!"
OMFG!! I wanted to call Guillermo up and let him have it! He could open up his laptop and reply back to a status but he can't freakin' pick up his phone and text me a message or (dare I say it!) call me! I don't know if this is a constant problem for girlfriends, I could be nitpicking, or both but this really bothered me. I know things changed between Guillermo and me, but I guess I was hoping for us to be closer after getting back together.
Bestie and me referred to Guillermo as "My Baby #3" but now he's been downgraded to "Marcus", the insensitive, uncaring guy from "Something Borrowed".
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Sweet Nibblets! I did it again!!
So I guess this means Guillermo and me are back to "unofficial status" again.
Difference is: I'm not going to push for "official" status like last time.
Difference is: I'm not going to push for "official" status like last time.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Here we go again!
Never rely on mobile email because apparently my very good and deep post didn't go through! Anyway, it's almost been a week since Guillermo and me went out after 7 months and I promised myself (and my bestie and my sanity) I wouldn't read into this. What am I doing? Reading into the situation like always.
I always said all I wanted was my best friend, my WALL-E abuser Guillermo back. No strings attached, no hidden messages, no unofficial boyfriend Guillermo..NOTHING! Now I am wishing he would do something like that again. At least kiss me again! Yes I know if that happened, everything that we are trying to work for will probably be messed up again. I'm definitely like Bella when Edward came back at the end of "NEW MOON" because I needed Guillermo. It was as though a missing piece of me came back on Monday when I saw him and it reminded me of our first date.
When I was very sick, I would pray (yes contrary to my family and friends's beliefs, I DO pray!) to see Guillermo one last time and tell him everything, including how I feel. Maybe Monday was my chance to see him and tell him, but of course I didn't say anything. I hope I do get to see him again because I need him.
I always said all I wanted was my best friend, my WALL-E abuser Guillermo back. No strings attached, no hidden messages, no unofficial boyfriend Guillermo..NOTHING! Now I am wishing he would do something like that again. At least kiss me again! Yes I know if that happened, everything that we are trying to work for will probably be messed up again. I'm definitely like Bella when Edward came back at the end of "NEW MOON" because I needed Guillermo. It was as though a missing piece of me came back on Monday when I saw him and it reminded me of our first date.
When I was very sick, I would pray (yes contrary to my family and friends's beliefs, I DO pray!) to see Guillermo one last time and tell him everything, including how I feel. Maybe Monday was my chance to see him and tell him, but of course I didn't say anything. I hope I do get to see him again because I need him.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Star wishing isn't a crazy thing after all!
Yes I did do that on 4th of July eve (why am I making every holiday into "eve" and "day"?) and thought I was going to break under the pressure of not talking to Guillermo (and I was still pissed at him for forgetting our anniversary AND not inviting me out to the Dodger game and other stuff). Well, as Carilly tried to warn me, I should have hidden my phone on 4th of July. Reason: mixing alcohol with the phone is a bad combo, especially when you have the number to your "ex" on the phone still. YES yours truly drank wine coolers to her heart's delight (and against my aunt's constant complaint) and I text Guillermo! It wasn't just for him though, it was to ALL my friends! Even the ones I don't talk to anymore. Worst part: I even put "Better send this out before I start drinking again! LOL" Did he reply? Of course with a generic "thanks you too!" but I knew the next day I would get some sort of comment about my drinking. LOL
Sure enough, yesterday I get a Facebook comment from Guillermo about Sunday. Not really thinking since I had a headache and it was already after 12pm (LOL), I replied back to the comment. While I was getting dressed, the phone rang and it was him. Immediate thought: CALL HIM! Of course I didn't because I thought it was a mistake so I sent him a text instead. He text me back and asked if I wanted to go to a baseball game with him. At first I was very hesitate. Reason: the last 2 times we planned on going out, Guillermo pulls at the end that he didn't feel good after all. Yes I should be sensitive but after the 2nd time and then hearing he went out with another friend, I knew he was just avoiding me. So, since I had to go out anyway, I said yes and waited for the infamous "oh wait, I have a headache" excuse. Instead I got "yay. so I'll be there in 30 minutes". Sweet Nibblets! Guillermo ACTUALLY said yes!
It was like nothing ever happened between us, because as soon as I got in the car it was same ol' Guillermo: teasing and making fun of me. It was a LONG drive out to Lancaster but it was good to just be out again and with him too :). Yes I had hope something else would have happened but at the end I was just glad to have my friend back, the same one that I met 2 years ago at Pinks (aka my WALL-E Abuser).
So instead of jinxing everything, I have decided I'm not telling anyone (except my bestie of course!) and not posting it on Facebook anymore. I want things to work out on its own and without people telling me what I should and shouldn't do. I think that was part of why I did what I did. For right now, I want to enjoy things with Guillermo before I tell people I'm back with him....as my best guy friend of course.
Sure enough, yesterday I get a Facebook comment from Guillermo about Sunday. Not really thinking since I had a headache and it was already after 12pm (LOL), I replied back to the comment. While I was getting dressed, the phone rang and it was him. Immediate thought: CALL HIM! Of course I didn't because I thought it was a mistake so I sent him a text instead. He text me back and asked if I wanted to go to a baseball game with him. At first I was very hesitate. Reason: the last 2 times we planned on going out, Guillermo pulls at the end that he didn't feel good after all. Yes I should be sensitive but after the 2nd time and then hearing he went out with another friend, I knew he was just avoiding me. So, since I had to go out anyway, I said yes and waited for the infamous "oh wait, I have a headache" excuse. Instead I got "yay. so I'll be there in 30 minutes". Sweet Nibblets! Guillermo ACTUALLY said yes!
It was like nothing ever happened between us, because as soon as I got in the car it was same ol' Guillermo: teasing and making fun of me. It was a LONG drive out to Lancaster but it was good to just be out again and with him too :). Yes I had hope something else would have happened but at the end I was just glad to have my friend back, the same one that I met 2 years ago at Pinks (aka my WALL-E Abuser).
So instead of jinxing everything, I have decided I'm not telling anyone (except my bestie of course!) and not posting it on Facebook anymore. I want things to work out on its own and without people telling me what I should and shouldn't do. I think that was part of why I did what I did. For right now, I want to enjoy things with Guillermo before I tell people I'm back with him....as my best guy friend of course.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)