Update to my last post

I have decided to let Guillermo go. Well, unofficially I have (since our relationship is still in the unofficial status).  For the 2 years we have been going out, Guillermo always said how he loves Denver and wishes he could go back.  He went to school out there so it's understandable why he feels so attached to Denver.  The last time we went out, Guillermo was saying how he gets his mind set on doing something for him and then something happens and he puts his life on hold to fix it.   It got me thinking: what if one of the reasons he is staying is me? Crazy thinking, yes I know because I don't mean anything to him but I have a small feeling it could be.  I remember last year, before he went on his weekend trip back to Colorado, I made a big thing that I was never gonna see him again. Now that I'm older (wiser maybe?), I realized I should have just let him go.  I don't want to be the reason Guillermo can't live out his dream and if it ever came down to it, I would give up my happiness for him to be happy. 


Of course Guillermo would never ask me that, or even think about it, but I'm already preparing myself for that situation. Maybe that's why it's kinda been easy for me to be apart from him this long.  Though I still have my moments of missing (and crying) over him, I've been pretty good about not texting him or anything. 

Very impressed with myself lately :) GOLD STARS!!

Here's a recap of what's going on:
1. Guillermo and me fell back into our old thing.
2. Guilllermo goes and makes things weird between us by forcing me to be around his friends (who clearly don't like me)
3. The friends I met were girls he works with and clearly were flirting with him (both pre-drinking, buzzed, and wasted)
4. Guillermo and me haven't talked since the drinking party, but just quick little FB posts
5. It's not the same anymore between us after our one night stand (if that's what you would call it)
6. I'm not missing Guillermo like I used to before..I'm actually enjoying not having to worry about what to wear to go out
7. Am I NOT in love with Guillermo anymore?
and #8: I am still in love with him.

Why am I still in love with him, though he made our relationship weird and doesn't want to do anything with me anymore? Same reason why I couldn't break up with him last year and why I couldn't leave him 2 years ago.
I want to say I am over him, but he does things that surprises me.  Like this weekend when I threw my mom her surprise 50th birthday party, Guillermo left me a FB message wishing my mom a happy birthday. He NEVER did that before.  Of course there's the causal FB comments but that's the extent of our conversations.  Even the comments are kinda weird because Guillermo's not teasing me.  I don't know with this guy: should I give up or keep holding on?