Why am I already having my mid life crisis? Ok, I've been in one since I turned 25 but this is really bad. First, I'm changing my novel AND haven't written in weeks. THEN, I go out with Guillermo after 3 months of not seeing him and I am driving myself crazy thinking about him. To make it worst, I'm also thinking about Juan too!! What's going on with me!?
I guess deep down I am still hoping for something between Guillermo and me. Yes I realized he's never gonna choose me (plus I'm not his type apparently...I don't have common sense, or brunette. Apparently he thinks my life's full of drama and blah blah blah) and I'm fine with that (I'm not gonna beg or do crazy stuff just to get him to pick me).
Maybe my life's just too complicated and he sees that as a major problem. Ideally, I should not go out with him anymore and make Guillermo forget me. More ideally, I should have freakin' stop talking to him when we broke up! Okay, better yet...I should have listened to Ana and Kiki and left Guillermo before he kissed me. Realistically, however, I already shown I can't let Guillermo go. Sadly, he's a part of my life (just like Bestie and my really closest friends) and I don't want to lose him. Crazy since he treats me harshly while playing around with my emotions.
I thought writing my novel would help make the transition easier but it just made it worst. The wedding scene between Carlos and Lizzy was so bad I had to practically kill off Lizzy because I couldn't deal with it. I hate the way Guillermo makes me feel and I wish I didn't go out with him Saturday, just to get a stupid Twilight candy box!
